As parents and educators, our role is not to remove every obstacle from a child's path, but to provide the support and security they need to overcome those obstacles themselves.
One of the most important jobs we have as teachers and parents is to provide an environment for our children that allows them to encounter obstacles and to overcome challenges. Every time that your child meets and overcomes a challenge, they grow in self esteem and confidence. They grow the understanding that they can solve problems and that the people around them trust them to find solutions.
The staff in the Junior School are trained in Circle of Security which is a philosophy that assists adults in understanding a student’s need to explore and the need for connection. There is a balance that needs to be struck and can look different for each child. As parents our job is to maintain a secure base for their connection acting as the “bigger, stronger, wiser, kinder” example. We also hold firm boundaries to teach them how we interact in a community. When this is done students feel safe to explore their surroundings and grow in academic, social and emotional learning.
At PCACS we often talk about leaving space for the child to step into. This means when we see our students face challenges, we must resist the urge to step in immediately and instead hold space for their learning. As parents your instinct may be to give the solution or intervene on the child’s behalf, and this is often a result of love and care, but it does not leave room for growth and learning. Instead, remaining bigger, stronger, wiser and kinder means that we respond calmly, asking open questions to help guide the thinking and reassuring that all will be ok. It is difficult to do, but it is important, as this is where self esteem is built. Our job is to sit alongside them and help them to know that we believe they are capable, and that we will support them to find solutions.
In The Resilience Project, students are taught about the parts of their brain that regulate emotions and decision making. We teach them about strategies that help to calm the amygdala and help the pre frontal cortex to reengage. Our students know that this can take time, and that sometimes they need space from the situation for their brain to find a solution.
Encouraging our children to seek out help in times of need or distress is important. How we react gives our children important social cues that informs their own response. When we remain bigger, stronger, wiser and kinder, we are telling our children that the problem is manageable and that there is space for a solution. We aim to be the lighthouse that guides them into calm waters, towards a solution instead of steering the boat for them. This is the sweet spot that gives opportunity for the building of self esteem and confidence.
Kierin Janes
Head of Junior School